Wednesday, July 21, 2010

my pregnancy family

letter to the family who opened their home to a pregnant teenager they didn't know in Atlanta.

hey Ms! i sure hate that i haven't stayed closer to y'all and i sure hate that you're sick, G.
i just don't feel that i've expressed adequately the significance of the role y'all have played in my life or my gratitude for it. i think i should tell you what i've told many, many others. when i came, i have to say i anticipated judgement and i expected to feel quite uncomfortable living in the home of strangers. but i remember being disarmed and feeling home very soon after my arrival. your family was the first i'd seen function close up. i learned and unlearned and relearned alot of stuff there through my observations and our interactins. the few months i spent with you, for me, were the most significant of my life. those were my deciding months. those were the months i spent dying and being born again. my heart being broken and then made whole. this was the time of my conversion. my time with you changed the course of my life more drastically than anything else has. i know i came by inspiration and i imagine you invited me by inspiration. i needed a safe and quiet place where the Holy Ghost could communicate with me uninhibited by the contention and distress that were unfortunately part of my home and family relationships at that time. equally critical was the distance from my boyfriend that allowed me to see the relationship for what it was and break my addiction to it. your home was my haven, it was my school. the Holy Ghost was my tutor in those days and i learned more in those months than i had in all the years that preceded them. i began to see truth and light where my view had been dark and distorted. i began to be me. i remember walking by the mirror in the upstairs bathroom and literally doing a double take. i saw a new countenance and i had pleasure in my reflection for the first time.
i remember you telling me i needed successes, to help me redefine myself and learn of my capability. and then you presented me with opportunities to progress and coached me through them. you taught me the power of investing in somebody.
despite the radical and exponential growth that was happening in me, i know i was still quite self absorbed and immature. i wonder if i was hard to live with but i never sensed having been a bother or a burden.
i'm sure you knew from the start what choice was right for me, but you never pushed or coerced which would have only hindered my finding it. it was as though you trusted me to work through my poor judgement. i would have doubted.
B, you were with me on the 2 most significant and miraculous days of my life. the day i met Justin's parents, and the day i met Justin. thank you so much for your care!
i know you had to be a part of the story. if i'd stayed in Memphis, if i hadn't had that peaceful place, where i could think and listen, i woulda stayed with J, and Justin wouldn't have gonehome. i'd still be trapped in depression and mediocrity. i wouldn't have come to light and life. my family would still be broken and i'd still be angry. i wouldn't have become me.
again, you are a crucial part of the story i joy to tell! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU for being your sisters keeper and for being my family.
my heart hurts for y'all now and i wish peace and the Lord's care over you. G, i love you. B, i love you. L, i love you. my prayers are with y'all!
Matthew 25:35,40

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